Monday, October 14, 2013

Days 13 and 14 "A Change of Heart"

Our weekend get-away, reduced from 4 days to an overnighter due to bad weather and some other pressing matters, turned out to be just perfect!

After a wonderful session at the temple, we had dinner at a Cracker Barrel.  The place is crammed with retro candy and goodies, but it's odd.  We didn't spend any time in that section at all!  The even weirder thing is, I didn't even think about it until an hour or so later.  While we don't usually buy any of that candy, I always look and drool.  And sometimes I do buy the over-sized malties "to send on to Cooper" -- our missionary in Brazil who loves them.  Although I end up  eating them myself.

I ordered my usual grilled lemon-pepper fish.  SOOOO delicious, with the steamed veggies.  We usually split a small stack of their pancakes.  And we did, but we ordered the sugar-free syrup.  And it didn't taste as right as usual.  It was the sugar-free syrup ... but more than that,  I know my life is changing.  I passed on the biscuits with jelly, too.  And was just fine!  Relief and peace.

Next time we go, I know I'll be ready to pass entirely on this long-standing tradition of the pancakes.

In the morning, talking with Bob, he shared that he, too, on his own has become determined to be sugar-free and has gone without it for the last 2 weeks.  He doesn't have a weight issue, but sugar is his "go-to" as well just because he loves it. Desserts, jams and jelly, some candy.  Not into the hiding and private bingeing like me.  But very aware of how it plays havoc with his moods and sense of well-being, especially as he gets older.  (He's 62.)  I was surprised with how committed he is, and the changes he has also experienced over the past 2 weeks.

We talked and talked, and I am very grateful for my unexpected partner on this!  He is going to read Sugar Shock too.The breakfast smorgasbord where we stayed was full of all kinds of options: Belgian waffles and syrup, sugar-coated cereals, rich Danish pastries, bagels/jelly/cream cheese, etc.  But they had fresh fruit, hard-boiled eggs, a delicious whole wheat toast.  And that was what I chose!  Scrumptious. 

I also had a small yogurt, and when my taste buds said MORE-MORE-MORE, I checked the sugar content.  17 grams of sugar for a 4-oz. carton of yogurt.  Wow.  The MORE-MORE-MORE is a red flag that it's probably more than I need or want. 

No guilt here, just awareness and finding both ATTENTION and INTENTION.

The most important part of our get-away hadn't even started.

Long story short:  We got lost trying to find the chapel to attend Sacrament Meeting. Our GPS kept looping us around.  I said to Bob, "The universe is telling us that we don't need to be there today."

Bob said, "No, we'll try one more time." And it worked.

Imagine my surprise, with all we have happening here, when the second testimony shared in Fast & Testimony meeting was a lovely lady who stood up and after giving her name said,

"And I am your local ward ADDICT.  I've been clean and straight for 7 years this month, and I wanted to share my testimony of how only the LORD JESUS CHRIST can help us overcome addictions.  I failed miserably at three residential recovery centers, then joined the Church. I attend the weekly meetings atthrough the LDS Addiction Recovery Program and it is the only thing that works!"

Have you ever been to a Testimony meeting where something like that was shared?

I surely have not!  And just when I am preparing to write my next article for Meridian Magazine on the LDS Addiction Recovery Program!  I got chills as I realized again how Heavenly Father uses me as an instrument for Meridian ...

As I listened to her testimony and chatted with her afterwards, I knew whey we had had such a time finding the building.  The old DEVIL himself did not want us attending and meeting her!

It turned out that there was an LDS Addiction Recovery Meeting that VERY afternoon, several hours later at a close location at the LDS Family Services office.

Bob and I went, and were thoroughly delighted. 

I went because I NEED TO BE THERE, not as a writer, but as a person with an addiction who wants to be free of it for life.

I learned a lot, obtained a copy of the manual, and came to know again, through both the words of the manual and the leaders (a senior couple -- Wonderful, wonderful service missionaries) that my addiction to sugar is REAL.  I haven't made it up. 

My new friend told me that many alcoholics, when recovering, turn to SUGAR.  It is less destructive than alcohol, but is still an addiction.  Alcohol is another form of sugar, and it's easy to substitute Candy for it, although candy is less dangerous. 

That makes a lot of sense to me.

It all makes a lot of sense to me.

We each had a turn to talk/share.  If we wanted to, and as I read the words from Lesson 6, entitled
"A Change of Heart" .... I knew that this is right where my Heavenly Father wants me to be.

That I am ready for a Change of Heart.

I confess, I cried when I read the words on page.

"Whether your addiction has been to alcohol, drugs, ggambling, pornography, self-destructive eating patterns, compulsive spending, or another behavior or substance that represents your need to run and hide from stress or challenges in your life, you can come to realize that it all began in your mind and heart.

Healing also begins in your mind and heart.  As you become willing to be changed by coming unto Jesus Christ, you will learn of His power to heal.

"A change of heart ... A change of heart." This is what I am seeking and acknowledging as much as a change in actions and habits.

Imagine us being there for all of that!  A simple get-away weekend turning into a personally guided experience to allow a Change of Heart that I can share with others ...

I don't think there are words to describe the marvel of having been so directly guided as we were yesterday, and I am so incredibly grateful for my husband's inspiration and constant ability to follow the spirit.

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