As I listened to the Tabernacle Choir sing in the morning session of conference yesterday, "Master The Tempest is Raging," my heart and mind were flooded with feelings about what we're all doing here together, and to the many, many times a desire for sugar has raged throughout the day and evening for me. I confess. The tears streamed down my face as I thought of how aptly that describes a sugar-binge ... it IS a storm!
A storm that will NOT go away. Others may be unaffected by these foods, but I can't stop thinking -- or quietly going to them and eating on my own when these storms start.
Yes, a sugar binge is a storm of desires, and a storm of emotions as I intellectually I know I'm "trapped" and even while experiencing a storm of feeling sad/guilty/stupid/embarrassed/foolishm cannot stop! All those silly negative emotions that are draining and exhausting. But in truth, I always the candy/goody/whatever more than I want to stop the emotions.
In my reading, I have learned that this inability to stop is the chemical/brain component to how sugar really DOES affect us and our ability to stop. I'll post that information later.
The important part today is making a list of 5 reasons "I want to be sugar-free"
Here are mine:
WHY I WANT TO BE SUGAR FREE:
1) I want to be the master of myself. When I am on a sugar-binge, I am not. I want to be at PEACE with myself and my body! I want this storm to be at rest for good.
2) I want the true Master to be a much bigger part of my life! I know that He gives us weaknesses so that we will turn to Him. (Ether 12:27) I want to embrace that!
3) I want to be able to feel honest with myself and the articles I write for the dear readers at Meridian.
4) My body needs me to be taking good care of it! No one can do this for me! My skin is looking OLD. I am doing many things for it, but fear that the years of sugar are taking their toll. I need to be doing what I can for my body now that I am nearly 60. I know that it feeds cancer and other illnesses. I want to be honorable about how I treat it, it's been SUCH a good servant for so many years. It deserves the best now that I'm looking at the last third of my life.
5) I would realllllllly like to lose some weight and be more comfortable in my clothes. Though I am in a "healthy weight" by the charts, I know that it is heavy for me, and that my clothes are very snug.
As I finish the entry this morning, though, I am claiming the words "PEACE BE STILL" and picture the choir singing, when I am tempted with food items today, or if I find myself reaching for them.
If the Savior can control the elements, he can surely help me control this thing that has become a
FALSE element in my life.
Here's the link again:
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/music/2013/10?lang=eng&clang=eng&session=4&song=3&media=audio#listen=audio
And have a beautiful, happy, sugar free day!
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