Sugar-Free-Cravings

Day 5 - 6 Months From Now:  Sugar Free At April General Conference!

(As a little FYI for my own life. You may be wondering why I don't just get rid of the foods that cause problems for me.  While I can't blame anyone,  it's an exercise in real life.  My 92-year old Mom lives with us.  Her Dollar Store goodies are precious to her.  She's never out of control, like me when I get rolling.  She is extremely intelligent and alert and "with it," although her body does not allow her to do anything -- or go anywhere -- other than take care of her personal needs.    When her life is so limited, her treats are important.  I do the shopping ... and the stashing.   She's adorable and people bring her lots of goodies, which she loves and can enjoy in tiny amounts.  Thus they are here.)

October General Conference begins today!  It's always such a special time and weekend to look forward to.  It always goes too fast.  (Kind of like a bag of M&Ms.)

With every Conference, it's just a natural thing for me to look back on the past 6 months, and imagine where my life and family be 6 months from now. 

It's a very rich time for me right now.  With having "gone public" a-la Betty Ford, I feel this bubbling flow of a new reality.  One day at a time, of course.  I've been here before -- sugar free for a short time.  But I have a feeling that 6 months from now, come April conference, I will be able to say, "I've been sugar free for 6 months.  I wasn't a slave to my frosted sugar cookies over Christmas -- along with a whole lot of other things. I'm free of it and I love how I feel!"

What I can't figure out, and don't know, is how "sugar-free" I want to be, or is really practical to be.
Can I be 100%?  Do I want to be 100?  It sounds pathetic.

I don't want to offend people by not tasting their food gifts.  I don't want my family and friends to think, "She's no fun anymore."

I think I must be really out of touch with all my days as a Weight Watcher leader.  I know I was trained with answers that I practiced pretty well. 

But in my heart, I know I had a long ways to go.  And as I watched all my ladies buy stacks and stacks of 2-point cookie bars ... I wondered about them too.  And the other leaders when we were at meetings or socializing.

FYI -- I could eat a whole box of 2-point bars in a very short period of time.  And did more than once while driving home from leading a WW meeting.  And wished there was another box to eat.

That's one of my fears: "What will other people think?"

And there it is on paper, it's no different that what we told our high-schoolers when they went to parties they knew they knew they would need to leave early when the alcohol and drugs came out.  They worried about what their friends would think.

"Who cares what they think!!!!  It's not them that matters, it's YOUR LIFE!" we told them.

Even so, I don't want people -- especially my family to think I'm not any fun, or have become ultra-disciplined and am judging others.

Yes. That's a fear.  And an excuse.

Today in conference I'm going to be looking for answers on how to manage that with my Heavenly Father's help.

I know where they'll tell me to turn.  To the Savior. 

And I know where I want to be 6 months from now "Sugar Free for 6 Months" come  April General Conference!  I'm excited about how I'll feel and an exciting track record!